The Calm Before the Storm

OK.  Sorry to all my faithful viewers and geeks.  I have been very busy lately taking many many valuptious naps and playing Nintendo 64 since we found the cord that plugs it in.  YES!  You heard me, N 64 is back in business and its been all about Star Fox 64.  Ill come back to that but first of all, I forgot if I told every body cause im usually bombed when I write these and don’t worry im on my way to happy town as we speak.  Well, last week, I went to taco bell/ KFC like 5 nights in a row and it was sooo amazing but the work afterwards was not.  By work I mean shitting, I wont go into details because of all my female viewers and jared.  But yeah, each night we went, the bill was in the 50- 70 dollar range and the lady knew us.  LET me tell you, she was smoking!!!!  Well my bros thought she was ugly but she had the sweetest glasses I have ever seen and im a huge fan of the glasses on a females eyes.  NOT SUNGLASSES!!  Sunglasses are for posers and posers always die.  Your welcome Texas.  So as I was sayin, shit I don’t even care what happens anymore cause im just livin the high life and I love boozing and eatin, and pimpin out my sweet sweet hoes and by that I mean I lend out my collection of military hats for people to wear.  So if u need one for a special occasion, let me know cause the waiting list is like 3 months long.  Yeah im that baller and or retarded.  OH, my alcohol study is going fantastic and I get paid weekly which is good and bad.  I wanted to get paid at the end in a lump sum of money so I could rent a motel room and a black stripper and go to town all night on that dirty dirty bed and floor and bath tub BUT since I get paid weekly that wont be happening unless I save but I usually don’t save.  So getting paid weekly allows me to buy some booze and buy food at work which I usually busy the most cause im tim and im pretty big and I LOVES MY CHESEBURGERSS!  Shit I forgot what I was gonna go back on so give me a minute and ill go check.  OH!!! Ok I see the 64 so I know its not number of women ive slept with, that’s way to low so it has to be N 64.  So yeah Star fox mother fuckers, I have the high score and everyone is trying to beat me but I just keep staring at them whilst they play and they cant beat me.  I control the leader boards like a cake and I eat every piece cause it’s a strawberry cake and my favorite.  No I am not gay, I just like straw berries.  No if you assholes want to go PIE, id have to go pecan pie cause it tastes like the sweet sweet nectar of Zeus Pachado himself.  Who, do you ask is Zeus pachado.  Or Zeus Pachads as we commonly call him.  WELL, Pachads is a legendary action hero born of the fires of Durapus and he pretty much rocks the socks off of anyone who comes in contact with him.  Yeah, hes that cool so DON’T FUCK WITH PACHADS.  WOW, one of my friends just asked me why its good to eat veggies.  I personally hate them which is why I gave them up for new years and lent but in actuality, carrots help u see and broccoli helps u shit, case closed.  Well then, enough with the shannagians.  I rule at star fox and OHHH BABY, tonight, Thursday is a hige party at my bros and im here now.  The booze bill came to 170 bucks and let me tell u im going to prob drink 150 of that.  That’s just how I roll so fuck off.  Now, I have been challenged by some noobs tonight to a Thunderdome.  For those who arnt familiar with this legendary act of heroism, bravery and poise, it is a game that many will enter but one will emerge a champ.  You stand around a barrel, drink 1 beer per minute until u cant do it or u puke,  if you’re a man, u can always do it, u just end up puking.  I lost my title to this asshole who fattened me up with pulled pork sandwiches which may I add, were some of the most delicious and tasty sandwiches I have ever had.  SHIT man, these things just melted in your mouth.  Well enough about me, the storm is brewing tonight and need myself a brew and mixed drink cause I usually double fucking fist mother fucker.  I will return a champ tomorrow and tell u of my tales.   PS  there will be many fine ladies tonight so ill have my mack on full attack.  See how I rhymed there, im cool.  So I ate hearty my breakfast today for tonight, I SHALL DINE IN HELL!!!!