Fuck Theory

I consider myself to be my own worst enemy but then again as a one Conway Twitty once said, it is better to keep ones own enemies closer they friends so in actuality, im closer to myself then anyone can ever imagine. As for my actual enemies, they are going to stay the far fuck away from thins hunk of burning love cause I don’t want them assholes anywhere near me. Fuck you Machavelli you asshole, your dead. Maybe if you kept your friends closer youd still be alive, hahahaha, ohh man im still alive and your medieval ass is dead asshole. Maybe back in the day it was cool to shit in a tower and let it just build up in a fucking hole but today we have more distinct things such as toilets and ohh man do I make frequent use of them cause I like em’. Hey, let me know one person who has not been on a toilet at least 100 times in their life and ill show you a man ful of shit….. LITERALLY!!!!! Ohh man ahahaaahha, ok im actually laughing cause I just made that up and it actually makes sense which is a rare case with tim mcdaniel. For example, I could say that porcelain is made out of the purest whale bone from the spermiest Sperm Whale, but that’s just not the case, it probably just taken from some shit whale like the beluga whale who is a piece of shit for being named after a very popular form of chip the bugle. NOW, for those of you not familiar with the bugle, it is an amazing chip that comes in a variety of flavors not to be fucked arrouind with. You have your sour cream and onion and your cinnamon. Well enough abouyt me, wehen I eat my bugles, I usually put one of them on each finger, pretent to be that asshole with the scizzor hands but instead of cutting things, I eat my fingers off and they taste sooo good. So my friend made some amazing steaks last night and they were wrapped in bacon. Let me tell you, I don’t care if I die, these things are fucking amazing when u cook them right, the bacon just saturates shit and it tastes all like a big old bacon steak and I fucking FUCKING LOVE IT! But yeah I had about a hundren of them and some ka bobs and they were soo tasty. Oh if I repeat myself im very sorry but im wasted and I don’t give a shit don’t read it… RYAN…. Ok so hey just some shout outs to marty, jared, dan, beave, and Texas ccause they are all rockin and in most of my stories so you may be hearing a lot from these guys. OH man I almost forgot, which I do a lot, ok so last night, my bro woke me up outside. Apparently I had fallen asleep outside in the rain whilst smoking a stogie and I was just chillin out there cause I don’t give a shit, I was soaked but ballin it cause when your soaked you can pee your pants and no one would know which is baler and I would never do that cause I only pee in the toilet. Ok maybe not but those stories are for another time. Peace out, and keep on a rockin peeps.