SHIT

HEYYYYYYYY.  THE ATTACK comin at you live from a little place called J town.  So yeah, big surprise, Im boozing again and im feeling GGGRRRReat.  Ok tony the tiger, go get face fucked by Count Chocula then fuckin become a butt pirate under Captain Crispy ballz.  SO, ive been workin all day, pretty much pretending to do work and man, let me tell you, I went in totally wasted.  Actually my boss told me I cant drink during the week anymore I reek of booze, and I said screw you man, god created the earth in 7 days, ill booze 7 days a fuckin week!  Ok maybe I didn’t say that, I just walked away but I guess I really smelt bad cause people were saying it.   Fuck it.  So after work I took a brief nap, stroked the salami a few times and let me tell you, it was amazing!  Red tube is the sweetest site of all time and I tend to look for the asian chicks with big tits or red heads, but hey, who is this fat ugly mother fucker to be picky.  LOLOL, ohh man, so sorry, Marty just sent me a picture of a 60 foot penis painted on a roof top.  Allz I got to say to that is GAY, or totally baler cause some people can rock that on top of their house.  Not me.  Oh so back on track here so yeah after my nap/ wackin in, I took a little ride to my alcohol test.  For those who don’t know, you suck, but ill let you in.  I read this add at work and the guys said I should call.  It was looking for heavy drinkers who want to get paid to take some pills.  I didn’t even ask what the pills are for but I sure hope it makes my DONG bigger……  Ok nah, I don’t need that but it would be sweet,  so I called and they accepted me so im ballin it right now.  SO, the pills are for some symptom shit I don’t care about but I get paid $550 BIG ONES at the end!  Yeah, who would take it.  Especially when im lookin for a quick trip to lily spa for a special massage if you catch my drift.  So today was my third trip there and the guy asked me like a hundred questions.  I said no to all but I should have been like GUY, im FREAKING the FUCK out at night.  And I am dude.  Last night, I was attacked by a bear, and I know it was fake but I was caught, trying to hold its mouth open and my hands were starting to hurt so im like what the fuck is there really a bear here????  So the bear obviously bit my hands off and then it crushed me and the strange thing was it didn’t even hurt, he just stopped me from breathing.  So im like shit ive gots to wake up and breathe, so I open my eyes and TOTAL BLACK!  So I blink them a lot and nothing, and then I feel like im floating.  So I start yelling and waving my arms and finally I come back to my sweet bed I call Charles and I was like ohh charles, im back.  And he was happy.  So yeah I probably should have told the guy that story but I didn’t. And this has happened like 3 times but I just stay up and watch Home Improvement and rock an all nighter so fuck it, im getting monAY.  So yeah that’s pretty much it for today.  OHHHH, ok ill eave you with a HALO quote.  I was playing with this asshole on my team so I told him to fucking go fucking his Jew dad on Quanza and he started yelling but I just kept killing noobs.  Soon after I realized the 2 didn’t go together so I was fucked so I just kept yelling at the kid cause he was an asshole, and I told my bro I was playing with to take the 2 which you all should know by now.  And he did.  So that’s pretty much it, not gonna lie im gonna go drink a lot more and prob get taco bell later, so PEACE OUT!  Ryan, fuck you with your war in.  YOU ARE GAY.